Aging Out of Foster Care: ?How It Feel to Enter the Home of Foster ...

Dear friends in adoption and foster care,

Here?s our guest blogger again! Karri is teaching us so much.

?As I see it, there is a HUGE misunderstanding that when kids come into care, it?s thought that after a few weeks of being?physically?safe, they should?get over?the emotional stuff and get on with just being a kid.?It doesn?t happen that way.

It doesn?t matter who says a kid?s life is dysfunctional, it?s their ?normal? and when they?re taken away from it that?s a HUGE loss! Everything they know and love is gone.

They could be told that someone will get their things for them and they?ll be able to visit with their family real soon but it doesn?t matter. They don?t have that now and as far as they?re concerned, it?s all a lie anyway. In this moment, their world is gone and they?ll never ever ever get it back -ever! As much as I wish there were a magic wand that could make all the hurt and pain go away, it hasn?t been invented yet. ? I?d bet the farm that it won?t happen any time soon!

I want to make something very clear before I continue. Foster families are VERY important and SUCH an?amazing resource! As long as a child is being abused, neglected, or abandoned, the need for foster families will be there. Also, adoptive families!?

Friends, how do you feel after reading Karri?s post? Isn?t that the tendency of all of us? We can?t stand pain, ours or that of anyone else, let alone a child. We all react to pain in various ways. We might:

• Denial: ?This is a fresh start for this child.? (wipe the slate of the past clean)
• Cheerleading: ?Come on, you can do it.?
• Anger: ?She makes me so mad.?
• Acknowledgement: ?What you have had to go through is so sad.?
• Fixing: ?If you do THIS, you?ll feel better.?
• Avoidance: ?This child?s life is a trainwreck. I?m not going to get into all that stuff with him/her.?
• Detachment: ?I?m not going to give my heart to this child. I?ll keep a safe distance from him. He?s so wounded.?
• Empathy: ?I can?t imagine what you?ve been through.?

Let?s discuss our reactions to pain and also the additional burdens that are placed on children like Karri who enter foster care?.again, and again?.and then age out with no life tools.

Which of Karri?s words stood out to you? Can you think of a word picture to describe children going into a home, wounded beyond belief, with expectations put on them for healing? Pretend you?re in a car driving by a horrific accident. You see someone trapped inside. What your reaction be from those above? Or, if those words don?t fit, how would you react and respond?

Karri will give practical tips for parents in the next blog article, so stay tuned.

Thanks for the great contributions thus far!

Sherrie and Karri

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Source: http://www.sherrieeldridge.com/2012/07/aging-out-of-foster-care-how-it-feel-to-enter-the-home-of-foster-parents.html

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